If Grace is an Ocean, We’re All Sinking

Before reading this, know this is what the Lord is doing in my heart. I have been so blessed in my upbringing. I am just seeing how much more there is to this life and living for Jesus than I knew before. I hope I can accurately relay what the Lord is revealing to me.

How do I put into words what the Lord is teaching me? He is pretty much tearing apart most (if not all) of what I have ever believed about what it means to live for Jesus. (I say that in the sense of He’s tearing it apart because I thought that’s all there was and I am learning there is so much more). For those that know me well, you just let out a huge gasp. I have grown up in the church. I have heard about Jesus and what He did for me from before I could walk and talk. So why would I just be learning what it means to really live for Jesus? Good question.

Since being in Uganda and finally putting into practice the three weeks of training we received this summer, I am realizing just how narrow my view of God was (and still is at times). I was narrow minded even in how I thought He worked and how I am to live for Him. I have fit God into my own little box without even realizing it. For the first time, I am at a place where all I can do to survive is rely fully on the Holy Spirit. This concept is foreign to me. Sure, I have talked about it for years.  However, I have never done it on a consistent basis.

I thought I knew what faith was, but my faith was based on the natural, not the supernatural. Bill Johnson puts it this way in his book, When Heaven Invades Earth, “Faith is the mirror of the heart that reflects the realities of His world into ours. It is the substance of the unseen realm.” I want to live this way, but I never thought I could.

Here’s another way of looking at it. Jesus said of Himself in John 5:19, “The Son can do nothing.” He means He can literally do nothing apart from the Father. Yet, He performed so many miracles. He experienced intimacy with the Father that some of us only ever dream of. He was human. I think sometimes we forget this. I have read this verse a thousand times. I see Jesus’ life and have thought for so long that was only for Him. It’s not for me too. If this is truth, then why does He say in John 14:12, that as a believer I will do even greater things than He did because He is going to the Father. Jesus showed me what it meant to fully rely on the Spirit of God and to let God move and work through me. The same Sprit that raised Him from the dead lives inside of me! I have the ability because of God’s Spirit in me.

Needless to say, I am being challenged to not just read the Bible but to live it and see it lived out before me. I have faith that the supernatural is the reality, not the natural. For the first time in my life, I am in a place where that kind of mindset is normal. It is so refreshing. It terrifies me at the same time because it goes against a lot of what I was taught in the church growing up. The Lord provides an abundance of grace through the process and I’m forever grateful for His love, mercy and grace in the process.

I am so thankful for the way the Lord has pursued me for over 17 years now and the patience He has had with me during that time. It has brought me to where I am today. I guess, I thought for so long that I was really living for Jesus when really I was living for Him for what I got out of it. Not in every single moment, but in more moments than I thought. I was more bound by religion than I knew. It is a freeing thing to realize, yet at the same time scary because I had no idea.

This is just the beginning of a crazy journey with Jesus. I don’t know why He picked me. I feel the least qualified and inadequate, but I’m so thankful and humbled that He is allowing me to walk this road with Him. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jesus came to bring life abundantly (John 10:10). Let’s live that life!

If Grace is an Ocean, We’re All Sinking

Before reading this, know this is what the Lord is doing in my heart. I have been so blessed in my upbringing. I am just seeing how much more there is to this life and living for Jesus than I knew before. I hope I can accurately relay what the Lord is revealing to me.

How do I put into words what the Lord is teaching me? He is pretty much tearing apart most (if not all) of what I have ever believed about what it means to live for Jesus. (I say that in the sense of He’s tearing it apart because I thought that’s all there was and I am learning there is so much more). For those that know me well, you just let out a huge gasp. I have grown up in the church. I have heard about Jesus and what He did for me from before I could walk and talk. So why would I just be learning what it means to really live for Jesus? Good question.

Since being in Uganda and finally putting into practice the three weeks of training we received this summer, I am realizing just how narrow my view of God was (and still is at times). I was narrow minded even in how I thought He worked and how I am to live for Him. I have fit God into my own little box without even realizing it. For the first time, I am at a place where all I can do to survive is rely fully on the Holy Spirit. This concept is foreign to me. Sure, I have talked about it for years.  However, I have never done it on a consistent basis.

I thought I knew what faith was, but my faith was based on the natural, not the supernatural. Bill Johnson puts it this way in his book, When Heaven Invades Earth, “Faith is the mirror of the heart that reflects the realities of His world into ours. It is the substance of the unseen realm.” I want to live this way, but I never thought I could.

Here’s another way of looking at it. Jesus said of Himself in John 5:19, “The Son can do nothing.” He means He can literally do nothing apart from the Father. Yet, He performed so many miracles. He experienced intimacy with the Father that some of us only ever dream of. He was human. I think sometimes we forget this. I have read this verse a thousand times. I see Jesus’ life and have thought for so long that was only for Him. It’s not for me too. If this is truth, then why does He say in John 14:12, that as a believer I will do even greater things than He did because He is going to the Father. Jesus showed me what it meant to fully rely on the Spirit of God and to let God move and work through me. The same Sprit that raised Him from the dead lives inside of me! I have the ability because of God’s Spirit in me.

Needless to say, I am being challenged to not just read the Bible but to live it and see it lived out before me. I have faith that the supernatural is the reality, not the natural. For the first time in my life, I am in a place where that kind of mindset is normal. It is so refreshing. It terrifies me at the same time because it goes against a lot of what I was taught in the church growing up. The Lord provides an abundance of grace through the process and I’m forever grateful for His love, mercy and grace in the process.

I am so thankful for the way the Lord has pursued me for over 17 years now and the patience He has had with me during that time. It has brought me to where I am today. I guess, I thought for so long that I was really living for Jesus when really I was living for Him for what I got out of it. Not in every single moment, but in more moments than I thought. I was more bound by religion than I knew. It is a freeing thing to realize, yet at the same time scary because I had no idea.

This is just the beginning of a crazy journey with Jesus. I don’t know why He picked me. I feel the least qualified and inadequate, but I’m so thankful and humbled that He is allowing me to walk this road with Him. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jesus came to bring life abundantly (John 10:10). Let’s live that life!

Posted 3 years ago

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I am simply on this journey with Jesus and our next move is Uganda, Africa. I will be serving as a missionary and have the joy of sharing Jesus’ love with the people of Uganda.

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